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Life throws us hard blows when we least expect it, and there are many situations that will test our ability to cope, or rather, our sense of being able to cope.
Whether it's a breakup, a job we don't like, or a health issue, it can sometimes seem difficult to avoid drama and worry. Even if everything is going well in our lives, we've all realized that our plans can suddenly be disrupted, perhaps by a global pandemic.
But tough times do pass, and even if it seems difficult, it's important to focus on the fact that things will get better, and to rely on your own mental strength and resilience to help you in the meantime.
Mental strength and resilience: what's the difference?
Mental toughness and resilience are closely related, but there's a difference between the two. Resilience is the ability to handle whatever situation arises, but it doesn't necessarily mean you're mentally strong. You may be able to handle things, but do you do it in a positive way, or do you just grit your teeth and wait for it to pass?
Mental toughness is an individual's ability to effectively handle stressors, pressure, and challenges, and to perform at their best in any situation. 1
The distinction is subtle but important. It's the difference between surviving and thriving.
Developing mental strength is essential to living your best life. It helps us foster meaningful relationships with others and gives us the confidence to try new things, as well as the defense mechanisms to cope with whatever life throws at us. The good news is that no matter how strong you are now, you can always develop it further. Discover our 3 tips for improving your mental strength:
- Learn to see things in a positive way
It sounds easier said than done, but even if it doesn't come as naturally to you as you'd like, you can learn to see things more positively. Just look at Marine Commandos or Olympic athletes to see what the mind is capable of. The first step in adopting a positive attitude is recognizing when you're being negative. Don't beat yourself up, but acknowledge it and then work to change your behavior. Instead of thinking you might fail, try telling yourself you might succeed, but even if you don't, it's okay as long as you do your best. Often, simply deciding to feel an emotion makes it easier to actually feel it. This phenomenon is called manifestation: make the decision to think positive thoughts, and those thoughts will come to you. If you wake up in the morning and feel good, but throughout the day you're told you don't look good, you'll likely start to feel bad before the day is over. Similarly, if you tell yourself you're happy, you'll be more likely to act on that emotion and actually be happy.
- Meditate and take time for yourself
In a society where we all have responsibilities to others, it's important to also allow ourselves to slow down and focus on ourselves. Meditation is excellent for quieting the mind and living in the present moment, for resetting the clock and facing the day with a new and more positive perspective. Research has even shown that meditation and mindfulness can reverse the DNA that causes depression at the molecular level, 2 Which is pretty incredible! Ivana Buric, who works in the Brain, Beliefs and Behavior Lab at Coventry University's Centre for Psychology, Behavior and Achievement, explained that "millions of people around the world are already experiencing the health benefits of mind-body approaches like yoga or meditation, but what they may not realize is that these benefits occur at the molecular level and can change how our genetic code works." In her research, she explains that activities like meditation leave a molecular signature in our cells, which reverses the effects of stress or anxiety by changing how our genes express themselves.
- Also take the time to move
Your body is as important as your mind when it comes to mental strength. Physical and mental health go hand in hand: if one is affected, the other can suffer. Studies have shown that exercise increases the brain's levels of serotonin and dopamine, the chemicals responsible for the "feel good." 3 It can reduce feelings of depression and promote mental clarity, allowing one to focus on something calmly and clearly.
Instill resilience in children
Children, in particular, are strongly influenced by the actions and behaviors of the people around them. They are like little sponges, soaking up what they see and learn from us. Therefore, it is essential that we work on our own mental strength to help them develop theirs.
Children learn from others, so it's a good idea to expose them to people who will care for them, have their best interests at heart, and be a positive influence on them, such as friends, family members, teachers, or sports coaches. Let them know they're not alone in life and that they have people they can turn to if they need help.
It's also important to give children the opportunity to learn and discover things on their own, whether through creative or strategic play. Board games are excellent for teaching them to control their impulsiveness and learn to be patient and wait their turn. It's also an opportunity for them to learn mental flexibility and change their thinking for a better outcome in the event of a sudden change in circumstances.
Don't be afraid to ask for help
Developing mental strength takes time and practice, and if you're struggling, know that you're not alone. Life can be tough, and you don't have to be ashamed of struggling to cope. If you're not sure you can cope, it's best to ask for help and talk to someone—whether it's a friend, a family member, or a professional. If you feel sad or angry, irritable, stressed, or easily frustrated, these are signs that you're struggling and should seek help.